so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
even my farts smell like vagina
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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