I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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