Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
