More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
