hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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