i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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