The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
