What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
