I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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