Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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