I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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