I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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