my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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