stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize