And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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