you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
