dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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