Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
