hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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