come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
