i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
