i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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