so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
