All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
