And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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