love makes seman taste better
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
