I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
