We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
