Don't EVER smell your tampon
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
