; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
