And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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