It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
