Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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