Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
