Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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