I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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