no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
