I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
