Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
