Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
