U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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