Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i used baking grease as lip gloss
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
