You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i love accidental penises.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
