Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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