i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
