At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
