I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
