drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
