So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize