if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
