I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
