what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
