So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
