how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
