mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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