I hate all girls vehemently.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
