someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
