Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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