did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
