so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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