Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
