'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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