I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
