You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
