Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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