Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
