I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
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Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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