I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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