Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
